Crash boom bang

There is no nice way to explain how you feel when your world comes crashing down. Its a dark and lonely place that is accompanied only by the deafening silence that is your own guilt as it rolls around the recesses of your shattered heart. I think I may have hit rock bottom... A place so desolate that I cannot explain how I got here - or how I am going to get out.

It may all change... Or not.

Things may all change soon... when they do, or rather if they do, will we be ready? Who's to know - but change they might. Its a healthy thing. Change. It is a very healthy thing and it is something that is so important to who we are. Picture a season without change. A day without change. A season of temperate weather all-the-time, no wind, no rain, no snow, just one rolling temperature and one rolling weather pattern. A day without change? Groundhog day!! Are we ready for this change? Yes I can honestly say I think we are. It is going to be good! Bring on the change ... P.S. This is not for my husband who when asked about change says: "No change! Take chappies"

We all care too much

The reason that we as South Africans have such definite and often vocal opinions is that we simply care too much. Things affect us so deeply that we take every word, stance and comment as a personal attack - not just against our country but against us personally. While it would be naive to believe that things don't affect people. There is no water and no duck's back when it comes to South Africans. Everything we see and hear resonates with us to the point that we feel we need to take action, or at the very least, beat our chests and scream about our discontent from the rooftops. Can we change it? Unlikely I am afraid. It has been ground into our DNA. It is what fuels our passion for rugby, our love for the rhino and our distaste with everything that doesn't fit with how we feel. You see as a nation we are born from a melting pot of cultures, interests, languages and geographies. Our shattered past has to some extent left us wanting for an identity of our own. One we find difficult to carve as we grapple with too many adult issues, such as crime, corruption and to a lesser degree the remnants of racism. Perhaps it is time to acknowledge that instead of looking for the unicorn and rainbow filled Nirvana we crave - we should settle for who we are. We are passionate, often confused and sometimes drunk. We live loud, we speak loud, we party hard, we drink hard, and we will always care too much. So we can try and change that DNA in a petri dish as much as we want but we are who we are and in the words of a close friend "it is what it is"...